Maybe you've never been through it
It's the only way to understand it
That line or 2 lines really captures so much. It can be applied to dozens if not 100's of situations or scenarios.
But, it totally applies to my situation right now with the loss of Joyce. And grief, losing a loved one, and not only a loved one, but a spouse/significant other. And in my case, so super quick, with no warning in sight.
And it also would go to 1 in a couple who are in a happy, loving marriage maybe moreso.
I mean a lot of people are helping me, but, there seems to very much be a different perspective of those who have lost someone they were so close to. And suddenly even, that if they have not, the experience is not fully understood like it is with someone who has. Whose gone or going through what I am.
It's kind of like how I am telling Joyce's story. Showing others what for the most part she was really and fully like. Nobody knew her like me. At least in the 14+ years we were together. Nobody knew her like I did. And while some of that is not so happy necessarily, it still was who she was.
I'm not trying to show her in a poor or bad light. I really don't, because I loved her. I really did, despite the occasional struggles. I would not have stayed with her if I didn't. I did mostly everything I could to make her happy. At times it didn't work, or at least she didn't express it to me. But that was part of her strong-willed personality.
I actually, now thinking about it, didn't cry in front of her enough. I did sometimes, but now thinking about it and how much I am now, daily of course, I wish I had more. I guess part of it was her dwelling on the negative or doom-and-gloom mentality. Glass Half Empty at times, and if I was down and depressed, it would only make things worse. I try to look at the bright side, focus on the positive as much as I can.
So, I held it in at times. But..I just should have more. I think we may have found ways to bond better at times.
Even when we had arguments or conflicts and then I went into silent treatment. I wish I had given in and just told her I was sorry and if there was anything I could do, even swallow pride. Although sometimes it was more about her losing something or not getting something because she was too late or something I had really nothing to do with. But she was upset and basically had to direct her emotion to or on me.
But I still should have more.
Anyway..yeah that lyric captures it. It's something you really can't fully understand unless or until you've been through it.
