...

Sometimes I feel like everyone doing what I love is better than me at it.

But I often try to think if they are doing this, why the fuck can't I?

What the fuck happens to us when we die?

Did I live dozens of previous lives, I just don't have a memory of them?

It's creation/formation and The Big Bang's cosmic joke?

Or are we just like all other life forms we know of, we just change to dust and all the time we spent alive was just a passing of time, and we're just gone/changed/transferred with no memory of what happened when we were alive in the human body we were in before?

it's shit like this that never goes away and frustrates me everyday.